Mistress of the Household
My mind meanders through my duties at times – about the substance that makes my title of Mistress more than an empty epithet. There are also countless qualities that both my dearheart and I are constantly developing. Rather than delving deeply into a single duty, today I wished to highlight a few duties and qualities related to running the household:
Authoritative and assured. The voice of command speaks straight to my dearheart's submission. Yet it is a skill that must be practised – and critiqued afterwards.
Budgeting and finances fall into my purview, to ensure our continued wellbeing. This includes the monthly financial reviews I do, but also the habits such as teaching my dearheart to ask "do we really need this?"
Collaring my dearheart is a daily ritual. With it on he can be reassured that he is wholly mine. Each day I enforce it is a reminder of our active choice in maintaining our marriage.
Domestic management is growing more important with time. When we lived together in a studio flat chores were dead simple. As our domain grows and our household is joined with more members, I have to take on more management tasks.
Growing up and watching my mother run things was an enlightening example. There are estate tasks, such as picking the vines and weeding and other refurbishments. Then there are household chores that most everyone is familiar with. Finally there are management tasks, such as tasking the ranch foreman or working through paperwork with her assistant or hiring and caring for people.
Education. I enjoy learning as an act unto itself, but I am also entrusted with growing my dearheart's understanding of the world in all its wonders. We should always be growing.
Focus meals. Despite my dearheart's desire to be a house spouse, cooking is still a responsibility I take on. Food is a hobby and I live to eat. We strive for a balance where I get creative with meals once or twice a week.
Groceries are therefore something I delegate to my dearheart. I set the tone for the week when I tell my dearheart what flavours and types of food I'm looking for. It is then his task to come up with the grocery list for daily fare.
History keeping. I maintain not only financial and personal records, but also save the important relationship milestones. Our shared memory is important, whether I keep it by writing notes, adding calendar events, or taking pictures to last our lifetime.
Initiative. It's my duty to keep a part of my mind constantly on the lookout for my people "getting stuck." If my dearheart doesn't know what to do for the day, I should notice and unblock him. Which is not to say that I should simply make work where there is none – resting is a valuable task too. Instead initiative is about providing the impetus for us to keep making progress towards our goals every day.
Knotty. Rope wrapped tight around you can be like an embrace, and the more I practise the skill the better. Of course there are practical benefits as well, such as rappelling, tying laundry lines, and securing loads of furniture to a trailer. Though furniture doesn't normally gasp when you cinch the rope down just right...
Literature. One of the first things my dearheart and I fell in love over is the shared stories that impacted us greatly. I was overjoyed to find someone who read more than I did, and it's an interest that we can share for the rest of our lives. Reading and writing consistently allows me to always have a topic to talk about at any moment.
Mistress of the Household. When all the daily duties are done, there still remains the out-of-context problems and odd jobs. It's my responsibility to take final accountability on everything. Most importantly is that the household needs to flourish, no matter what barriers spring up. Thus my dearheart does not exist to prop me up and serve, but rather that I exist to serve with my leadership.
