I had but a week with my dear lady, but in that time we built plenty of memories. Today on my blog I wish to share stories of my adorable sub.
If my life's logistics interest you, I recently journaled about my visit, along with my uncertainties of the looming future:
In short, long-distance is one of the harder things I choose to do in my life. My dear lady and I feel like we are on a sand timer to build our security and trust together. If we cannot close the distance before life runs on too long, it'll destroy us.
These vignettes are part of building up that security and strong bonds.
She sent me a picture of what to look for at the airport pickup. Big spiky boots with asymmetric socks and fishnets, and a cute black skirt... and a fashion collar, of course.
We rode in the car holding hands for a long while in comfortable silence. It was a long day for us both.
Then came the kisses. Across her wrist and forearm, on her soft lips, wherever felt right.
At home, I picked her up and carried her. Weightlifting has paid off, and I'm strong enough to handle her.
Then I tossed her down into bed and pinned her down.
I've wanted for so long to have someone smaller than I to play with like so.
I'd told my dear lady that I had taken pictures of her collar. Then I neglected to share those pictures, saying that it would ruin the surprise.
I showed the collar to my Dom friend, and he thought it was great. Then I told her I had done so.
Then, when I was there, I showed the pictures to one of her cousins while she was in my arms. He, too, appreciated it.
I'd at least told her what to expect for a collar, even though I never showed the pictures. I'm not wholly cruel!
Then came the occasion to actually collar her.
I had delayed it for a few days due to my own insecurities. Should I have waited until I was free of doubts? Is such a state even possible?
A collar is a solemn article in my hands. It carries much weight, and the burden of responsibility. I do not grant it lightly.
I eventually committed myself to whatever consequences may lie ahead.
Out came the collar to show her. We laid down together and discussed what we wanted out of our relationship. Only one of my vows I am willing to ever divulge – that I will make her happy, healthy, and wealthy.
I try to embody selfless love, and would do anything necessary to make her happy. Thus far, the path towards that is with her by my side. Though if she would be better off apart from me, I would do what's necessary to keep her well.
Such selfless love is the result of both polyamory, and watching my parents practise selfless love in life and in dying:
My love is unconditional. That's what the collar reminds her each day.
We watched films nearly every night. During the downtimes and lulls in pacing, we kissed passionately.
Not so much stealing kisses, as constantly drawing together despite the distractions. Our focus was each other, taking turns holding one another in our arms.
I introduced her to the film Harold and Maude. She warned me that she'd be like Maude in her old age. My sweet anarchist punk of a lady.
I hissed every time my dear lady absently went to chew on her fingers. Her cousin knew exactly what that meant, having dealt with behaviour correction herself.
We took walks nearly every day together. Then it rained.
I carried the umbrella between us, and huddled close as we stomped around the park.
Which of us should have carried the umbrella? Whichever person I decided should. That day, I wanted a small gesture to give her.
Such a brief visit necessitates an eventual parting.
For once, I could hold her through the sadness. Arms tight around her, I could be there in a way we have not had before due to thousands of miles of distance.
We had finally cut it down to skin against skin, for the briefest of a week.
When I met my dear lady all those years ago, I did not know what we had in store. Nor did she, as she lamented to me that she would never find anyone to love. This amuses us both greatly even still.
My dear lady told me that she loved me as soon as she knew herself. I took it with guarded grace and expressed my own love, even as I wondered if it was purely a friendly type of love.
It's no secret that I love my friends, after all.
I'm glad we've proven ourselves capable of more than a close friendship. Now to see how many years together we may steal from life's twisting chaos.
If you are new to my domain, then I shall call to your attention this introductory post about yours truly: