Why I Say "I Love You More"
I oft choose brief words to convey much meaning, such as when I tell my partners "I love you more."
It includes romantic sentiment, but that is merely the semantic surface – plunge into the meanings with me, and discover that the bottom is outside reach of your treading toes.
The staple I emphasise most is "I love you more and more with each passing day." Love is not a static emotion, but instead an ever-shifting one. In my case, I choose always to nurture the growth of my love for my partners.
Then my reserved nature also brings about another meaning. "I love you more than you can know." Not every passing thought escapes my mind's confines. I cannot enumerate all the little endearing things my loves do, so they'll never know it all.
That said, I do my best to let my loves know how cherished they are:
That my partners cannot know the full extent of my love does not mean that I will ever stop trying to convey to them the depths of it. Perfection is impossible, but its pursuit is worthwhile regardless.
"My love for you is innumerable" is another line to the shorthand. Love more than there are stars in the sky, grains of sand on the beaches, or molecules of air in my lungs.
Not always is "I love you more" so sappy either – another core tenet of the phrase is that "I will love you more than the obstacles." Practical concessions, blunders, conflict, and hardships all alike will be worked through together. We are devoted to each other through all things that may arise:
There are also a few things "I love you more" is not.
It does not mean "I love you more than you do," as if it were a competition. Nor is it an accusation of deficiency on a partner's part!
It also does not mean "I love you more than other people," most especially other partners. Love comes in a variety of different ways that cannot be quantified or compared – like the classic "apples and oranges."
For one, I love my friends dearly. Yet it is a much different love than that of my family, or my partners.
Love is abundant, and I do not pick favourites among my partners. They receive a totality of all my love, each and every one.
Loving someone "more" is not comparative. Thus it's also not saying "I love you the most."
Finally, there is one crucial thing loving more is not: automatic or absentminded.
Each and every time I say "I love you more," I mean it. It's not an obligation to repeat by rote. Mumbling a half-hearted "I love you more" as you rush out the door does not do the love justice.
Practising mindfulness in loving others is the dream.
After all, if "I love you more and more with each passing day" is true, then when we wind our way along the path of our lives for decades to come, that love will blossom like a tree into something grand.